When creativity feels like homework

AKA: I didn't love this year's 100 Day Project

I’ve taken part in the 100 Day Project a few times now, and previously it’s been a super inspiring part of my creative life. I love the challenge of finding time each day to introduce a bit of creativity.

This year, inspired by some gorgeous art I spotted on my Substack feed, I decided to fill in 100 small circles. I’d paint them, draw in them -- whatever took my fancy. Sounds fun, right? I was so excited! But in reality, this year’s idea didn’t work for me.

I’m a big believer in creative constraints. A page with a bunch of 1.5 inch circles already drawn on it is much less intimidating than a totally empty page. The constraint decides what you’re making, so you can just get on with making it.

With last year’s 100 Day Project, I narrowed it down to art inspired by tea and coffee, and although some days I struggled to come up with something, most of the time, my eye was looking out for things throughout the day that I’d want to paint / collage / etc in the evening.

It gave me:

• A reason to make something every single day.

• Permission to keep it small and imperfect.

• A finished body of work at the end that I mostly liked. Some days I just did something quick and simple, but as a WHOLE, I really loved this project.

These all took longer than my circles, but I'm so much happier with them!

100 days is a long time, so having some kind of pre-decided topic to work with made it a lot easier to show up, and I thought this year, by having the circle theme pre-determined, it would be quicker and easier still.

But it definitely didn’t work as well for me. I think it was a combination of three things:

1/ The circles were too small. I ran out of ideas surprisingly quickly. 1.5 inches of space is small! I’m not a very detailed painter, and working with such tiny space meant I felt frustrated at all of my attempts. I just didn’t like anything I was making, which is very disheartening. And after you’ve filled in thirty tiny circles and you’re staring at circle number thirty-one, my brain was totally empty of ideas for things to do next.

On this page I like 7of the circles

2/ I’m now in full-time employment. The previous years I’d done this, I was self-employed, and I could fold a daily creative practice into the rhythm of my work day. Now, by the time I get home, sort the kids, make dinner, and sit down — my energy is just… gone. If I have the energy to make something, it’s because I have an idea, and that usually does not fit into 1.5 inches!

3/ (and this is a big one) It stopped feeling like a choice. It started feeling like homework. I felt like I was forcing myself to do this and this both stopped me from wanting to do it at all, and made me feel like I couldn’t do anything else.

On this page I like 5 of the circles

Because I’d decided this was The Project for the next 100 days, and I’d already drawn the 100 circles, I felt like I couldn’t move on to other creative projects until I’d done my circle for the day.

Which meant when I didn’t feel like doing the circles (which was often), I didn’t do any art. And then the circles would pile up, and I’d feel guilty, and then I’d binge five or six in one sitting to ‘catch up,’ which felt like the opposite of a daily practice.

(I’m not even going to share the final 25 because I hate all of them!)

What I think I’ve learned

I’m not done with the 100 Day Project. I love what it’s given me in other years. But if I take part again next year (which I will if I have an idea that I feel inspired by!), I’ll do a few things differently.

I’ll pick a format that allows for more interpretation. The little circles were too small and therefore rigid for me this time.

I’ll give myself permission to do other creative things alongside it. The point was not meant to be “only make tiny circles for 100 days”. The point was to do something small every day. If that thing was to paint a scene from my holiday or do a collage inspired by something I’ve seen or read, THAT CAN COUNT.

I’ll check in with myself around day 30. If it’s not working, I’m allowed to change it. Or stop. I’m allowed to stop. (I’m also allowed to not do it just because I’ve done it before and enjoyed it in the past!)

Honestly, sometimes with these kinds of projects, I struggle to remember that I AM THE ONE MAKING THE RULES FOR THIS THING I AM DOING ENTIRELY ON MY OWN. I can also change the rules, and maybe I need to give myself that permission from the outset.

The whole point of these projects is to bring joy a bit more consistency to my creative life. The minute it starts doing the opposite, that’s the signal to stop and think about whether I need to do things differently.

How about you?

Do you have a creative project that’s started to feel like an obligation? If so, take a minute this week to ask: is this working for me? Can I change this to make it better? If not, it’s okay to give it up!

You’re allowed to change the rules you set for yourself.

I’m changing the rules today, in fact. I wrote this on the 5th of June and in theory I’m not due to send out an email until next weekend. WHY? I said to myself in my head I’d send out a newsletter every other week and I only just sent one last week but, again — this is a random rule I have made for myself. It’s obvious when I type it out, but sometimes I do get stuck in my head about this kind of thing. So instead it’ll go out on the 7th (I always like to give myself a couple of days buffer in case there’s something I decide to change at the last minute!).

I’d love to hear — are you a completionist too? I spoke to a friend who absolutely is not a completionist and she was laughing at how many things she’s given up without even a second thought. I thought I’d gotten better at it (I have no issues giving up books or TV shows now, even if I’ve invested loads of time and energy into them!). Apparently not so good at giving up art projects midway through…

Have you ever abandoned a creative project halfway through, and did it feel terrible or freeing (or both)? Hit reply or come and chat in the comments.

PS! The Joy of Beginning is always free but…

Thank you for reading! The Joy of Beginning will always be free to access, but I’ve switched the paid option on for anyone who wants to support my book + craft supplies habits. There will be no additional content for paid subscribers, but you can upgrade to a super low monthly or annual paid account to support me and this hobby I enjoy so much.

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